It led to unique observations, that other people didn't have.
As I'm sure you well know.
I remember when I started working in "adult jobs," as a teen. The "older," more senior adults would ask me questions. I didn't mind, I was ready to give them an honest answer, but I always thought before answering.
One of them said, "I see you thinking before you answer," noting the pause.
He said that meant I was a "deep thinker."
I liked that remark. I started wearing it like a badge.
Because it was true.
I spent a lot of time thinking about things that other people don't pay attention to.
I've always been that way.
As I noted earlier, it created observations that others didn't have.
Other people like to label that as "introverted."
But, to me, that label carries a connotation, emotional baggage that I don't want.
It creates a self-imposed feeling that I can't Inreract with others (like in public) in a "functional" way.
That implies dysfunction!
Since I didn't start seeing myself that way, I didn't have the baggage to carry.
Later, as I developed experience as a maturing, learning teen, in different situations, I got an opportunity to "speak publicly," that is, to a group.
That situation normally and rightfully carries a "fear" for everyone. Everyone has that "fear" before their first experience.
But after getting through it, it also brings confidence.
So, I got the experience, and since I didn't carry the baggage of"dysfunctional in public," I also EARNED the confidence that came with it.
I survived a "public speaking" experience.
And I didn't die, get humiliated, or other negative outcomes.
With the confidence that I EARNED, came other opportunities to speak to groups.
I got better, and noticed that I was energized by it. And people liked it.
That led to more opps, more likes, more good energy.
It fed on itself!
I could be funny and informative; and people LIKED my unique observations. My perspectives.
That led to me being willing to voice those perspectives, because I wasn't "afraid if what people would think of me."
After a lifetime of experience that wasn't limited by self-imposed restrictions, due to wearing a "label," I now have what anyone would call a "well-rounded" personality.
I'm not afraid of any situation. Any "uneasiness" I might have is easily put aside. And by now, few are really "new" to me.
THAT, by itself, brings a great deal of confidence... that everyone sees.
When people meet me for the first time, or see me in public, know they are viewing a CONFIDENT man, who is confident in any situation -- even if I don't know WTFb is going on!
And that makes it easier to think things through, measure my response, and often "emerge as a hero" because I kept my cool and navigated through a difficult situation, perhaps even a disaster.
(I also worked in Emergency Management and gained experience as an Incident Commander, and became known as "always keeping a cool head" in even the most perplexing scenes.)
So, the point here is to not burden yourself with "meaning of things," which generally leads to "labelling" yourself or situations!
That resonates — especially the point about labels carrying dysfunction you never actually had, arriving before the experience that would tell you otherwise. I've thought about that one.
Where this kind of attention is different is that it didn't start as something I chose or leaned into. It formed early, around a specific person, for reasons I was only half aware of at the time — and kept running long after she was gone. It wasn't a strength I built. It was already running.
The feedback loop you describe, though — I recognise that part. What you noticed, people responding, more space opening up. Something that started as listening eventually found its way into something worth doing. I'm still working out whether understanding where it came from changes how I carry it now.
Yes, I related to the attention to details too.
It led to unique observations, that other people didn't have.
As I'm sure you well know.
I remember when I started working in "adult jobs," as a teen. The "older," more senior adults would ask me questions. I didn't mind, I was ready to give them an honest answer, but I always thought before answering.
One of them said, "I see you thinking before you answer," noting the pause.
He said that meant I was a "deep thinker."
I liked that remark. I started wearing it like a badge.
Because it was true.
I spent a lot of time thinking about things that other people don't pay attention to.
I've always been that way.
As I noted earlier, it created observations that others didn't have.
Other people like to label that as "introverted."
But, to me, that label carries a connotation, emotional baggage that I don't want.
It creates a self-imposed feeling that I can't Inreract with others (like in public) in a "functional" way.
That implies dysfunction!
Since I didn't start seeing myself that way, I didn't have the baggage to carry.
Later, as I developed experience as a maturing, learning teen, in different situations, I got an opportunity to "speak publicly," that is, to a group.
That situation normally and rightfully carries a "fear" for everyone. Everyone has that "fear" before their first experience.
But after getting through it, it also brings confidence.
So, I got the experience, and since I didn't carry the baggage of"dysfunctional in public," I also EARNED the confidence that came with it.
I survived a "public speaking" experience.
And I didn't die, get humiliated, or other negative outcomes.
With the confidence that I EARNED, came other opportunities to speak to groups.
I got better, and noticed that I was energized by it. And people liked it.
That led to more opps, more likes, more good energy.
It fed on itself!
I could be funny and informative; and people LIKED my unique observations. My perspectives.
That led to me being willing to voice those perspectives, because I wasn't "afraid if what people would think of me."
After a lifetime of experience that wasn't limited by self-imposed restrictions, due to wearing a "label," I now have what anyone would call a "well-rounded" personality.
I'm not afraid of any situation. Any "uneasiness" I might have is easily put aside. And by now, few are really "new" to me.
THAT, by itself, brings a great deal of confidence... that everyone sees.
When people meet me for the first time, or see me in public, know they are viewing a CONFIDENT man, who is confident in any situation -- even if I don't know WTFb is going on!
And that makes it easier to think things through, measure my response, and often "emerge as a hero" because I kept my cool and navigated through a difficult situation, perhaps even a disaster.
(I also worked in Emergency Management and gained experience as an Incident Commander, and became known as "always keeping a cool head" in even the most perplexing scenes.)
So, the point here is to not burden yourself with "meaning of things," which generally leads to "labelling" yourself or situations!
👍
(I hope that's useful!
Find me here: https://jeffro55.substack.com )
That resonates — especially the point about labels carrying dysfunction you never actually had, arriving before the experience that would tell you otherwise. I've thought about that one.
Where this kind of attention is different is that it didn't start as something I chose or leaned into. It formed early, around a specific person, for reasons I was only half aware of at the time — and kept running long after she was gone. It wasn't a strength I built. It was already running.
The feedback loop you describe, though — I recognise that part. What you noticed, people responding, more space opening up. Something that started as listening eventually found its way into something worth doing. I'm still working out whether understanding where it came from changes how I carry it now.
I totally related to the attention to details!!!