Held, Not Hidden

On loving in a way that keeps you whole

it’s not a wall
it’s the shape of staying

not a door closing
but a way of choosing
what gets to come in
and what doesn’t

it’s the pause
before I say yes
because I want to—
not because I’m afraid
of what happens if I don’t

it’s me
not shrinking
not twisting
not performing
just
me
no longer leaving myself
to stay close to someone else
just less willing
to go missing
in the name of connection

it’s how I protect the part of me
still soft
still learning
still healing
from the times
I didn’t know I could ask for more

it’s how my shoulders stop bracing
how I stop scanning the room
before I speak

and I love you
from here
it’s not a wall
it’s the way back to myself